you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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