I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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