He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
