i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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