i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
