dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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