he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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