i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
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I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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