Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
