I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
