Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
