Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It's official drugs can't kill me
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
