I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
