Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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