Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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