The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
