i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
