That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
