Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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