No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
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I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
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You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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