The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
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I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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