I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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