Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize