You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
