conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
