You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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