How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
