Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
