mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
