I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Your penis caused this!
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