Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
