Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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