This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Randomize
