Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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