Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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