So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
