I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
