Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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