hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
