I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
