and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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