Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
