is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize