have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
