i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
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Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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