Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
ok first of all what the fuck
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
