just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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