I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
