Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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