I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
