Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
