I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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