my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
