elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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