people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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