Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
There's always time for handjobs
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
