He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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