i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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