I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
