The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
