At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
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How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
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Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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