I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
