this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize