Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
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Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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