No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
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My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
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I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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