is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
